It's about 4 years since we last spoke, and he told me pretty abruptly that he was moving to Australia one day. Then I never really heard from him again, apart from awkward five sentence conversations on Facebook. Never even a happy birthday. Now he's back, and it's all over Facebook, and he's brought a woman. One of many from what I can gather.
I feel so strange. I'm hurt because he never told me he was coming back, shocked that I feel this way, scared that something bad could happen even though it probably won't. I felt sick to my stomach when I saw it, but it seems to be easing slightly now. If only he hadn't been such a Grade A Dick I probably wouldn't be all that bothered. But I really did love him. And then he left. And I blame him for everything now.
This isn't a particularly cohesive post, and I see that. It's one of those weird stream of consciousness things that they taught you about in your A levels in my day. But I think the point that I'm really trying to get to is this:
I don't understand your reasons. I don't understand what you said. I don't understand why you hurt me without a second thought. I don't understand why you lied to me and told me you felt the same.
Background Blog: This was a difficult one to work out. A lot of ideas went around my head because I am a lover of heartbroken songs and balladry. So I decided to choose two.
No comments:
Post a Comment